If you feel like you are being held in the iron fist of anxiety, don’t worry, you are not alone. A lot of people have dealt, and are still dealing, with anxiety. In my case it was anxiety towards a person. A manipulator, to be precise.
How do you handle a manipulator, for example? Or a person that gives you so much stress you almost fall into a nervous breakdown? Certain people have the ability to trigger immense anxiety within yourself.
What to do if I am anxious?
There are certain things you can do yourself, to cope with your anxieties. It is important to realize that anxieties are fears, and therefore products of the mind.
Try as much as you can to look at your own anxieties from an outsider’s perspective. Try to look at it from the side and see where this fear comes from. There is always something you can learn from it.
Here is some practical advice to help you deal better with, and maybe even solve, your anxiety.
Look within yourself and fully experience the feeling of anxiety
Look within your own body and heart what the next step is. Don’t run away for the things and feelings that you have. Probably this is the thing you fear the most, the feeling you will feel, not the person that triggers those feelings.
Face the thing that fears you most, that is to say, face the feelings that come your way. They are only a ripple (or a big wave) on the surface of a vast and deep ocean. Yes, crap will come your way, but to resist this will only make it worse.
Like Buddha said: “The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you. Depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you free.”
Dive so deep into your own anxiety, that you have no choice but to learn from it. When you completely emerge into this anxiety, let everything come out. Scream, yell, beat up your pillow.
Release it all. After you have gone through this, you will find the source of this anxiety.
Stop trying to control all the things around you.
Especially your feelings, just stop trying! You will never successfully control them. Feelings (like anxiety) come and go, better just observe them. All that you are doing is dumping the feelings into the unconscious to deal with it later. That is when anxiety attacks start happening…
Deal with it now, take heart, be courageous. In the long run you will be happier for it. Face that which make you feel most uncomfortable, and live it, embrace it.
This not only goes for your inner life, but also for your outer life. You cannot control everything around you, so stop trying. You cannot control how someone else reacts and says to you.
Don’t try to control that feeling of anxiety. Control only what you truly can control, your own reactions for example!
Accept what is and let go of all your resistance. Let go of every single expectation, see the world as if you looked upon it for the first time.
Let go of what your anxiety might be telling you about the future. When you get this, you deal with things as they come up, no need to worry about it.
If you would like to learn more about letting go, check out my other article: Why your life will be changed forever after you learn to let go.
Drop the importance
Write down for yourself, on a piece of paper, why this anxiety that you have is so important. Make a list. Once you have this list, look at every single point, individually.
Write down for each point whether or not you can control it right now, in this moment. Star the points which you can actually control.
Now, focus only on those points from now on. Cut out those other, uncontrollable points and burn them. Get it out of your system.
Now look at your anxiety again, and think for yourself what would be the absolute worst that can happen. Chances are, with most things, that it is either not so bad at all, or the chances of it happening are very low.
Once you realize this, you can kindly tell your anxiety to get out of your house and never come back anymore.
- Start doing fun things, right now!
Life is a game, treat it as such. Just play! Don’t be too serious, it will only make you feel bad about what is. Relax and enjoy, that is all you need to do.
Start doing the things that make you truly happy. If you have no idea, though, I have a good one for you.
Go to the pet store and look at cute little puppies and kittens. They will never fail to lift your mood.
Maybe you even end up buying one! You can be sure that you will have no time for anxiety. All of it will be spent on taking care of your newest little family member. You will probably forget all about your anxiety within a few weeks!
Those were some practical tips to help you get over your anxiety. Above all, always remember to have fun and enjoy whatever life throws at you. There is always another opportunity to learn!