It was when I faced my biggest failure, that I learned why it is so important to let go. It had been almost half a year now, and still no message back from my future wife. True, I had been attacking her with messages of my own almost every week, sometimes even every day. Sorry, I am also a human, and certainly no dating expert. Back to my story, though!
It was only after long months of ignoring and silence, that the pain inside of me had reached a boiling point. Enough is enough! Even though, I knew she was The One for me, I realized how silly I was being. So, I decided to let go of all the attachments I had to her, of all the things we could have been. I decided to not only let go of the past, but also of the future, if you will.
It was the best decision I have ever made. Sure, in the beginning it was hard to let go and not send her one last message. But I managed to hold on. Now, a little over a year later, I am living together with that same lady, soon to be officially married. All because I learned how beneficial it is to let go.
Probably you have also experienced something similar to what I have been through. It might be a completely different situation and has nothing to do with the love of your life. Nevertheless, the feeling of being stuck in a negative cycle, or that you have too many attachments to something, still remains.
Why it is so hard to let go?
What is the reason that almost all people have so much trouble with letting go? Letting go of past emotions, letting go of painful experiences, letting go of attachments. The answer to this question is so simple, but it is really hard to understand. However, when you do, it will fill you with so much lightness and love. You won’t be able to stop smiling.
A lot of people are not able to fully let go. The reason is that they feel it truly gives them a sense of identity. They feel that this experience is a part of them, and shaped the way that they behave and are as a person in general.
This in itself might not be so eye-opening or uplifting, which I totally agree on. In fact, this realization alone might actually be kind of depressing. What am I without all those experiences and feelings from the past? What will be left of me, after I let go? However, there are 3 convincing reasons why it is better to do that.
Why should I let go?
If you let go, you will finally create a new space for positive changes in your life
Well, let me explain it this way. When you learn to really let go of all the negativity from the past, a space will form inside of you. A space that can now be filled with light and love. You jump off the train of emotions and attachments. You become an observer instead, ready to receive all the love that you deserve.
For example, you enjoy watching cars drive by and you are filled with happiness when you observe this. When this is the case, of course you would never think about trying to hold on to one particular beautiful car. This way you would simply put your life at risk.
It is the same way with past emotions and feelings, and just all thoughts that pass through you, really. Sure, you can hold on to them for a longer period of time. Maybe it is a really big car that you just couldn’t resist holding on to.
Nevertheless, there will come a point in time where you are going to have to get out, or get off of the car. And if you don’t do it yourself, life will do it for you. Your fuel might run out, your engine might die, you might even crash. But you are getting out of the car, one way or another. It is your choice whether it will go peacefully, or violently. It works the same with attachments.
If you let go, you will start shining and your true beauty will come out.
When you let go of one of those negative attachments, you will realize how light and empty you feel, like a weight dropped off of your shoulder. Now there is room for the real you to come forward in all of its beauty and glory.
Everyone has the ability to shine and be beautiful in his or her own unique way. All you have to do is let go and accept all that you carry with you. What will also happen now, is that you will start to see life as if it is brand new, which it is!!
If you no longer carry any more weight from the past with you, and you no longer push and fight against all the weight of possible futures, every moment you will be a new person. And every moment will be a new experience for you.
This is what all the old prophets meant when they said “Be Childlike.” It doesn’t mean that you, all of a sudden, drop all kind of responsibility. You are more than capable of carrying it (probably even made for, in a way). No, it means that you experience every moment and situation as completely new.
When this change starts to happen inside of you, you will notice a newfound, deep love for life and all of its aspects. Everything will seem that much lighter to you.
Should I let go of tough experiences which shaped my life?
One might say something about a really heavy and tough experience, that has truly shaped the rest of their lives. Think in the lines of murder of a close family member, rape, assault, long time abuse. These experiences and attachments will be the hardest of all to let go of, and it will take time.
However, when you are finally ready to drop this truly massive weight, and really do it, those people will feel the biggest change of all. It will seem like for the first time in years they can really breathe again, laugh again, love again. It will open up a massive space inside of them, that is now ready to be filled with love and happiness.
What can we learn from sand?
One last example. My mother used to tell me about the comparison of letting go of emotions, with letting go of sand.
“Imagine you are on the beach. You are trying to hold as much sand in your hand as you possibly can. What happens when you squeeze your hand as tight as possible in order to hold the sand?”
You already know what will happen, the sand will all fall out of your fist, escaping through all of the little holes it can find. You will only be left with just a little bit of sand. “Instead of squeezing the sand,” my mom would then continue, “relax your hand and let go of all the tension, and you will see that there is so much more sand that you can hold on your hand.”
So, the more you let go, the more space there is for love and joy and happiness. I wish you good luck and lots of joy on your journey of letting go!
If you would like to learn more about how to let go, check out this article: Little ducks swimming by