Why is letting go the hardest thing a person can do? What is the reason that almost all people have so much trouble with letting go? Letting go of past emotions, letting go of painful experiences, letting go of attachments. The answer to this question is so simple, it is really hard to understand. But when you do, it will fill you with so much lightness and love you won’t be able to stop smiling.
A lot of people are not able to fully let go because they feel it truly gives them a sense of identity. They feel that this experience is a part of them, and shaped the way that they behave and are as a person in general. This in itself might not be so eye-opening or uplifting, which I totally agree on. In fact, this realization alone might actually kind of depressing, because what am I without all those experiences and feelings from the past. What will be left of me, after I let go?
Well, let me explain it this way, when you learn to really let go of all the negative stuff from the past and future, a space will form inside of you. A space that can now be filled with light and love. You jump off the train of emotions and attachments, and you become an observer instead, ready to receive all the love that you deserve.
For example, you enjoy watching cars drive by and you are filled with happiness when you observe this. When this is the case, of course you would never think about trying to hold on to one particular beautiful or cool car, because you would simply put your life at risk.
It is the same way with past emotions and feelings, and just all thoughts that pass through you, really. Sure, you can hold on to them for a longer period of time, maybe it is a really big car that you just couldn’t resist holding on to. But there will come a point in time where you are going to have to get out, or get off of the car. And if you don’t do it yourself, life will do it for you, your fuel might run out, your engine might die, you might even crash. But you are getting out of the car, one way or another. It is your choice whether it will go peacefully, or violently. It works the same with attachments.
When you let go of one of those negative attachments, you will realize how light and empty you feel, like a weight dropped off of your shoulder. Now there is room for the real you to come forward in all of its beauty and glory. Yes, I believe that everyone has the ability to shine and be beautiful in his or her own unique way. All you have to do is let go and accept of all that you carry with you. What will also happen now, is that you will start to see life as if it is brand new, which it is!!
If you no longer carry any more weight from the past with you, and you no longer push and fight against all the weight of possible futures, every moment you will be a brand new person. And every moment will be a brand new experience for you. This is what all the old prophets meant when they said “Be Childlike.” It doesn’t mean that you all of a sudden drop all kind of responsibility, because you are more than capable of carrying it (probably even made for, in a way, but that is something for another blog). No, it means that you experience every moment and situation as completely new.
When this change starts to happen inside of you, you will notice a newfound, deep love for life and all of its aspects, and everything will seem that much lighter to you.
One might say something about an actually really heavy and tough experience, that has truly shaped the rest of their lives, think in the lines of murder of a close family member, rape, assault, long time abuse. These experiences and attachments will be the hardest of all to let go of, and it will take time. But when you are finally ready to drop this truly massive weight, and really do it, those people will feel the biggest change of all. It will seem like for the first time in years they can really breathe again, laugh again, love again. It will open up a massive space inside of them, that is now ready to be filled with love and happiness.
One last example, my mother, when I was younger, used to tell me about the comparison of letting go of emotions, with letting go of sand.
“Imagine you are on the beach,” she would tell me, “and you are trying to hold as much sand in your hand as you possibly can. What happens when you squeeze your hand as tight as possible in order to hold the sand?”
You already know what will happen, the sand will all fall out of your fist, escaping through all of the little holes it can find. You will only be left with just a little bit of sand. “Instead of squeezing the sand,” my mom would then continue, “relax your hand and let go of all the tension, and you will see that there is so much more sand that you can hold on your hand.”
So, you see, the more you let go, the more space there is for love and joy and happiness.